Target Shopping a Joke – Just Not a Funny One

December 1st, 2012

I haven’t posted to this blog in almost a year – mainly because I’m busy with the kids and I usually write things for my work. But Target inspired me yesterday. Thanks Target.

My son’s birthday is tomorrow. And my daughter wanted to pick a present for him. So I left work early yesterday so I could pick her up from school and have a little time to shop for a present. A little father/daughter time is always a good thing.

After looking at a number of trains, tractors, cars and other boy stuff, we found the most awesome gift ever – a Thomas the Train pillow. My son LOVES Thomas. It was the perfect gift for a soon-to-be two year old Thomas fan.

Thomas the train pillow

And then came the fun.

When I went to check out, the cashier person was super nice. She was friendly to my daughter and greeted me warmly. But when she got to the Thomas pillow, she couldn’t scan it. She apologized and said that it wouldn’t scan. And she said she would have to call someone for a price check. And she apologized again. No problem.

When her call was answered, a mid-manager person came over and looked at the pillow and tried to scan it again. Then she looked at me and said, “I’m going to have to do a price check.”

“Right”, I said. But she didn’t move. She stood there looking at me with a furrowed brow as if she expected me to give up and go about my day without my son’s most awesome gift. “So…are you going to do a price check?”, I asked.

Target price check

With an audible sigh, this person called another person. Soon, there were 3 Target employees gathered about 10 feet away with Thomas pillow in tow. The cashier moved my other things to the side and began checking out the next people in line.

After about 5 minutes, I noticed that the price check was not happening. The 3 employees holding the Thomas pillow were having some sort of discussion that involved a lot of laughter.

So I walked over to them and asked, “How’s the price check going?”. To that, they started asking me questions about where I found the pillow, were there others, did I see a bar code, etc. Now I’m starting to get annoyed. So I offered, “Should I look it up online? I can do that quickly”. No reply.

I pulled out my handy iPhone and about 20 seconds later had the Thomas the Train Toddler Pillow loaded from Target.com – score!

Thomas pillow at Target.com - cheaper than store

Proud of my quick search abilities, I hand my phone over to the cluster of Target employees engaged in the “price check”.

“It’s $12.99,” I say. They fiddle around a bit with my phone and then ask me, “does it have the numbers?”. “Yes”, I reply. “It’s $12.99″.

Unimpressed, the one manager-type informed me that I needed the numbers and their website didn’t have the numbers so she wouldn’t be able to ring it up. “So, you’re going to refuse to sell me this item that is posted on your website, with the price clearly stated, because of some other missing numbers?”.

It was at that point that one of the 3 walked away and, finally, went to conduct an actual price check.

After about another 5 minutes the guy returns and says, “It’s $19.99″.

“Seriously? It’s $12.99 on the website and $19.99 here?” I just wanted the pillow. So I shelled out the extra money just to get out of there. Oddly enough, it turns out the price was entered manually and was not even for the right product. Those “numbers” that were needed? They weren’t required after all. Notice how the item is just a “pillow” from the Home section, not a “Thomas the Train Toddler Pillow”.

Target receipt for Thomas pillow

You might think that Target’s poor customer response may have ended here. But no, it did not.

I left the store and posted a tweet making fun of the experience. Immediately, I got a response from @askTarget, Target’s robot-controlled, non-personal Twitter account. It replied to me and thanked me as if I were giving them a friendly shout-out. AND, to make it even funnier, included a link to Target’s wonderful price match in the post. Nice.

Target's Twitter Robot

Is it not a bit ironic that the entire reason I’m writing this post is because Target wouldn’t even price match their own store? Forget the competition. If you offer something online, just let me pay the same price in the store instead of randomly choosing a different, higher price.

Dear Target, two pieces of advice:

1. Train your managers. If you can’t make them care, train them to pretend that they care. Ensure them that they can actually sell something without having “the numbers” and that it is not the customer’s responsibility to provide said numbers.

I have never had an issue with any cashier, ever. But the managers in the Northlake Target store could use significant training on how not to make people hate your store.

2. Hire a real person / people to manage your Twitter account. You’re a multi-billion dollar corporation – the country has an unemployment problem. It’s a win-win. Although I got a giggle out of the ridiculousness of your Twitter management, it really wasn’t that funny. And while the crappy string of store experiences inspired me to write an overdue blog post, I’m not happy about wasting both time and money at Target.

You’re welcome.

Not Provided Keyword Moves to Top Referral Position

November 22nd, 2011

It has finally happened. I was reviewing traffic for a website today and noticed that the top referring keyword from Organic Search is “not provided”.

Google has been obscuring organic referral data for several weeks now. And, contrary to the initial assessment of having an impact on a “very low percentage” of users, it looks to be a quite sizable chunk of data that has evaporated into the depths of the interwebs.

Not Provided is Top Organic Keyword

Thanks Google, I will now guess how people got to my site.

Google says that they are hiding this data for privacy reasons. Right, I get it. Removing referral data for 8-15% of Google queries keeps some potentially vulnerable keywords safe from the targeting and exposure practices of marketing teams. Privacy is privacy.

Since the advancement of this keyword safety drive, I have looked for other ways to uncover the not-provided referral data. I would still like to understand the behavior of site visitors, regardless of their logged-in status. But how?

Tea leaves, of course.

Tea leaves render keywords

Use advanced tea leaves to understand organic keywords

Personally, I prefer the Special Gunpowder brand of tea. I discovered this tea while spending time in West Africa and it holds a dear place in my heart.

The Special Gunpowder tea leaves are delicately rolled up into little balls. When hot water is added, the leaves unravel to deliver an intense flavor and, if you’re lucky, the secret to your organic keyword referral data.

In the Senegalese tradition, I love 3 good rounds of carefully prepared tea. Even more, I love myself some safe Internet!

Special Gunpowder tea

Special Gunpowder Tea has a variety of uses

Tropical Storm Lee Hits Atlanta (kinda)

September 3rd, 2011

Lee is on the left – full on Friday afternoon ninja fruit slicer – a true tropical storm.

How Google Makes Algorithm Changes

August 26th, 2011

I thought this was an interesting look into how Google makes adjustments to their algorithm. The most interesting piece to me was the comment about how important “raters” are.

Raters are people who actually qualify changes so that the algorithm can be tweaked effectively. There are rumors that there are some 10,000 raters worldwide that help Google aggregate data and test search results, but I haven’t confirmed that number.

I recently noticed the change Google made to how they render results around misspellings. This video gives some insight into the thought processes that took place for making the change to the “did you mean” link.

Commissioner Elaine Boyer Ignores Concerns of Tucker Residents

May 7th, 2011

The persistent vocalization by Tucker, GA residents regarding Henderson Park renovations must seem like a lullaby of chirping crickets on a warm summer evening to Commissioner Boyer. I can only imagine that all that sweet sweet background noise makes her sleepy as it certainly does not prompt her to change course.

I recently visited Commisioner Boyer’s website where she boasts of being a “crusader”, “fiscal conservative” and “one who seeks to get government out of the way of the consumer, the businessman, the entrepreneur.” Good enough. From those statements it would seem reasonable for her to take up the cause to save money by getting out of the way of residents who want to conserve the beauty of the green space of Henderson Park. Problem solved.

Hold on, residents weren’t in that list, just businessmen and entrepreneurs. Dang.

Maybe I should go back and read some more…

Ok, I’m back. That was refreshing! Further reading of her website states “Commissioner Boyer believes county government should be run like a business.” Ok, crap. Well, that’s certainly one approach. But let’s take it at face value.

If Dekalb County is a “business”, then who are the customers? The residents must be the customers, right? If Dekalb County is the business and the residents are customers, should there not be accountability? When hundreds of people petition her office and beg to be heard, should they not be, what’s the word here…acknowledged?

Ignoring customers is just bad business. Where, exactly, is Donald Trump when we need him?

So if businessmen are Commissioner Boyer’s main interest, are there businesses that are vying for the rights to lay concrete over the wishes of Tucker residents? Does Elaine Boyer see her role as one to make it easier for businesses to make money from the master plan? Has the reworking of the Henderson Park master plan been developed to benefit the businessmen and the entrepreneur only? It certainly seems to be the case.

Most sarcasm aside, I do want to point out that I am particularly peeved because I attended several meetings with Dekalb County (along with dozens, if not hundreds, of other residents) where we got to vote, make changes, prioritize projects and otherwise be led to believe that our opinions, and our votes, actually mattered. To now be told that these meetings and our input was “conceptual” in nature is just insulting.

It should be abundantly clear that Tucker residents love their community and wish for it to grow responsibly. And the last time I checked, the “customer is always right.” If Commissioner Boyer wants to run a business here, then It’s time for her to start listening and honor her commitment to the residents of Tucker, and not just a few select businesses.